"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." -- Psalm 121:2
I'm not counting on the trial actually happening though, until it actually starts. We've been down this road numerous times on the journey of more than 18 months--told the trial will be this or that date, only to have it rescheduled again. The prosecutor told us right after Amanda was killed the process could take one to two years to play out. Now it's been more than 18 months since we've seen, spoken to, or touched our dear Amanda. And maybe, just maybe, the wheels of justice will begin to turn in the next few weeks.
Many have asked over these many months how we keep going. The verse above answers that question as precisely and concisely as I think any words could.
The news of Amanda's death fell upon us like snow from an avalanche. When we first learned we'd never see her again, the pain, the shock, the fear, the disbelief, it's all indescribable. No words can adequately explain the storm that rages within you when you learn your child has been murdered.
More than anything I felt lost, as if the risk of losing everything had just risen exponentially. If my daughter was dead, taken so suddenly, so violently, and so unexpectedly, how could I could I count on anything else lasting?
In the blink of an eye, no longer than it took to learn that terrible news, the hope that all I treasured on this Earth could be gone in an instant.
Talk about no hope, no comfort. I knew I needed help if I was going to survive this.
Luckily, I didn't reach for a bottle, not for drugs, or any of the common vices that men seek to find escape from their sufferings on Earth. I reached for the closest thing I had...the Bible.
And that's what saved me. Saved me from my murderous instincts to strike out for revenge. Saved me from a desire to throw in the towel, waste away, and let death take me too. Saved me from countless possible means of destroying the rest of my family and myself.
My help came from the Lord, and still does.
"38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -- Romans 8:38-39
So if the trial happens this month, or if we have to endure yet another delay, we will survive. We will continue. And we will continue to place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ.
Nothing can change that, and when we see Amanda again, it will be in the presence of our Savior.
Yes. My help comes from the Lord.
If you don't know Jesus as your personal savior, if you're missing the faith, hope, and love written about here, if you want the peace that we as Christians have in our lives, please visit our Got Jesus? page for step-by-step instructions on how to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.