Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,--Hebrews 12:1

Saturday, July 9, 2011

I think about you every day...

I've been in contact with a lot of people who have lost children since Amanda was killed. I correspond with several and I read the thoughts of others posted online. Though the grieving process isn't uniform, there seem to be certain aspects we have in common. Many of us have been told that we should "get over it" after a period of time, but we don't and we won't. Ever.

This poem came to me today as I was thinking about Amanda. Every day something reminds me of her. Even the happy memories that make me smile bring with them the pain of knowing that I'll never see her again, knowing that she'll never have the chance to get a job, get married, have kids, or any other number of things.

I think about you every day...

The song from your funeral
Played again the other day.
It takes me back each time
To the day you went away.

It's been quite a while now.
Six months have nearly passed.
I've thought about you every day
Since I saw you last.

The tears don't come as often
As they did six months ago.
Not because the hurt is less,
But it's now a pain I know.

Some believe I should be healed,
The hurt should all be gone.
They just cannot understand
Why the pain still carries on.

I see things every day
That make me remember you.
Sometimes they make me laugh,
Sometimes they make me blue.

To God I am so grateful
For the years together that we had,
And I'll be forever thankful
He gave me the chance to be your Dad.

Even though I know that one day
We'll be together in the end,
I wish you were still with us,
To hug and kiss you once again.

Every day I think of you
And every day it hurts.
To forget would take the pain away
But that would be much worse.

I am extremely thankful, and extremely blessed to have a wonderful wife and daughter still here with me, but the pain of always knowing we should be a family of four will never leave. The promise that I will see her again in Heaven makes the pain bearable, but it doesn't take it away. These are the reasons I can continue to move forward, in spite of the pain.



If you don't know Jesus as your personal savior, if you're missing the faith, hope, and love written about here, if you want the peace that we as Christians have in our lives, please visit our Got Jesus? page for step-by-step instructions on how to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.


2 comments:

  1. This is so beautiful and so very true. I lost my only child Ryan Blake on July 16, 2010. I am about to face my one year mark and the pain never lessens or goes away, but for that I am grateful because it keeps him close. I wish he were here too but I know I will see him one day in Heaven, so we run the race, because when we cross the finish line we find the treasures we store in Heaven. Our Babies! Much love to you - Ryan's MOM - Kim "Ryan's Page is www.pathwaysofhope.com

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  2. Thanks Kim! Love to you and prayers for peace and strength as well. Love your site. God bless you!

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