Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,--Hebrews 12:1

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Saddest Day of Each Month

Today is June 15, exactly 5 months from the day Amanda was killed. Ever since that night, the 15th of every month has been difficult. Every day is difficult really, but the 15th is different. On every other day I think about Amanda, and miss her. Sometimes they're happy thoughts, sometimes regrets, but they're always thoughts about her life--how she lived, things we did, things we said to each other, etc. When the 15th rolls around though, the thoughts are different. On these monthly anniversaries, thoughts center on the night she was killed and the way she died. The 15th of each month is always a sad day now.

With each and every passing month,
The fifteenth rolls around.
It matters not what's going on,
The sadness crashes down.

It's the day of the month
That so changed our life,
When to us came the news
That we lost you that night.

Though each day has been hard
Since fate took you away,
The worst of every month
Comes on the fifteenth day.

Each day has its memories,
Of times we spent with you,
So many things I can recall
That together we would do.

Though not all are good,
So many are quite fond
On those days before mid-month
And the other days beyond.

Thoughts of things that we did
As a family one and all,
And other things quite funny
Of you that I recall.

Sometimes those memories
Are of things that I regret,
Words and things I'd take back
If the chance I could only get.

Bad thoughts and good thoughts
Come on those other days.
But the sad and the bad,
By the good are outweighed.

But it's always the same
Each month at this time,
Amanda's death I recall
And the horrible crime.

" 42 So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; 43 it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44 it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body." -- 1 Corinthians 15:42-44

Though there are bad days, these verses give me peace knowing that Amanda is in a better place, without suffering and pain and heartache. I am extremely grateful that one day I'll be reunited with her for eternity. I do not understand how anyone could make it through such a loss without the peace of the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ.

I hope and pray that anyone reading this who doesn't know that peace will follow the instructions linked below and find it.

If you don't know Jesus as your personal savior, if you're missing the faith, hope, and love written about here, if you want the peace that we as Christians have in our lives, please visit our Got Jesus? page for step-by-step instructions on how to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

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