Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,--Hebrews 12:1

Monday, May 9, 2011

I wish you could've been there

There's no good time to lose a child, but I'm convinced that every case brings its own unique suffering to survivors. My wife, surviving daughter, and I all work or attend the school where Amanda was a senior, in her last semester before graduation. We had already ordered yearbooks, cap and gown, and all the other trappings that come with the end of a high school career and the beginning of life as an adult.

Because Amanda died in January, most of these things were not yet delivered, but they're coming through now. The other day, yearbooks came out. It's a day that's usually filled with joy for me. I love watching the kids peruse the pages, find themselves, remember the year, and sign for their friends. But this year, the day brought sadness and tears.

This poem came to me tonight as I thought about all the things Amanda was so excited about in her senior year, things she'll never get to experience now.

I wish you could have been there,
But you just couldn't go.
Yearbooks came out
And you didn't show.

Kids laughed and smiled
As they always do.
The year they remembered.
I wish you could too.

But yours came to us
Because you weren't there
And again came the pain
We haven't yet learned to bear.

Behind a closed door
the pages we turned.
Until we found yours
And again our eyes burned.

Your beautiful face
Brought tears to our eyes
You were so happy
When you were alive.

If you could've been there,
I wouldn't have cried.
Because that would mean
You wouldn't have died.

But no matter how much
I hope and I wish,
Forever and always,
You I will miss.

Every day's hard
But some are more tough.
Days like this one
Are especially rough.

I wish you could've been there,
But you couldn't go.
You would've loved it,
But you couldn't show.


  1. Precious poem. Praying for you all tonight.

  2. Thank you so much. All the prayers keep us going.


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